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Tommy Cooper Quotes: I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
         

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.


Tommy Cooper
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Other quotes of Tommy Cooper


Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.



I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure



Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.



You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'



I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.



Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.



I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."

I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."



'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'

'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'



I've been on the whisky diet - I've already lost three days!

I've been on the whisky diet - I've already lost three days!



A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.





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Everything a writer learns about the art or craft of fiction takes just a little away from his need or desire to write at all. In the end he knows all of the tricks and has nothing to say.

Everything a writer learns about the art or craft of fiction takes just a little away from his need or desire to write at all. In the end he knows all of the tricks and has nothing to say.



The silent adjustments to understand colloquial language are enormously complicated.

The silent adjustments to understand colloquial language are enormously complicated.



... a man aint so different from a horse or a mule, come long come short, except a mule or a horse has got a little more sense.

... a man aint so different from a horse or a mule, come long come short, except a mule or a horse has got a little more sense.



The narrator refers to a character as "an oily scoundrel whose hands were heavy with the money that stuck to them.

The narrator refers to a character as "an oily scoundrel whose hands were heavy with the money that stuck to them.



I feel very giddy with the idea of making my imagination take form and being able to put on a show where people leave feeling like they've experienced something.

I feel very giddy with the idea of making my imagination take form and being able to put on a show where people leave feeling like they've experienced something.



One must not let oneself be overwhelmed by sadness.

One must not let oneself be overwhelmed by sadness.



I don't think you can ever make enough to be set for life. Well, I guess there are limits. In the billions, I guess.

I don't think you can ever make enough to be set for life. Well, I guess there are limits. In the billions, I guess.



There is no statement so absurd that no philosopher will make it.

There is no statement so absurd that no philosopher will make it.



My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.

My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.



Blind obedience in the name of patriotism or religion ultimately takes our lives.

Blind obedience in the name of patriotism or religion ultimately takes our lives.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.". Author of this quote is Tommy Cooper. This quote is about hair, funny, cobwebs, humor, i can, wife,.