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Humour Quote of the day
People throw stones at you and you convert them into milestones.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
I wish you would tell me your secret. To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
Life, ” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it.
We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!
Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
Hypocrite: The man who murdered his parents, and then pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan.
I should fancy, however, that murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.
Colonel Talbot? he is a very disagreeable person, to be sure. He looks as if he thought no Scottish woman worth the trouble of handing her a cup of tea.
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.
The main reception foyer was almost empty but Ford nevertheless weaved his way through it.
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Candide, who trembled like a philosopher, hid himself as well as he could during this heroic butchery.
Well! marriage is like death, it comes to all.
Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast
This is flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans today do not include Los Angeles, now would be the perfect time to disembark.
More of your conversation would infect my brain.
. . . confirmed libertines don't reform until they're tired . . .
And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before--and thus was the Empire forged.
Keeping an active mind has been vital to my survival, as has been maintaining a sense of humor.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Oh, I hate the cheap severity of abstract ethics!
For my part, I am determined never to speak of it again to anybody. I told my sister Phillips so the other day.
Aberystwyth (n.)A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
There's nothing deeper than love. In fairy tales, the princesses kiss the frogs, and the frogs become princes. In real life, the princesses kiss princes, and the princes turn into frogs.
She had spears of straw and grass in her hair, not like Ophelia gone mad through contact with Hamlet's madness, but because she had slept in some stable loft.
The course of true love never die run smooth
When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.
YOU are the big drop of dew under the lotus leaf, I am the smaller one on its upper side, 'said the dewdrop to the lake.
He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him.
On the other hand, she was disproportionately indulgent towards the failings of men, and was often heard to say that these were natural.
On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.
Lady Bracknell, I hate to seem inquisitive, but would you kindly inform me who I am?
It was absolutely necessary to interrupt him now.
Well I won't argue about the matter. You always want to argue about things.That is exactly what things were originally made for.
Yes, sir, there are things to see and do on the French Riviera without spending money.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Indeed, it may most verily be saidThat only death and taxes certain are.
I know the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully.
There was a piece of ornamental water immediately below the parapet, on the other side, into which Mr. James Harthouse had a very strong inclination to pitch Mr. Thomas Gradgrind Junior.
It's the oasis, " said the camel driver."Well, why don't we go there right now?" the boy asked."Because we have to sleep.
It is not that I believe that there are too many idiots in this world, just that lightning isn't distributed right.
The little waiter's eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.
I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.