Sarcasm Quotes

Sarcasm Quote of the day

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

I can fluently speak five languages: English, emoji, sexting, sarcasm and sass.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy... and I keep it in a jar on my desk.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering!

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.

Satirists gain the applause of others through fear, not through love.

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremendous boredom.

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic.

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

The arrow always tipped with ill nature and sarcasm is deadliest to him who sends it.

I wasn't entirely sure, but a polite John Pritkin might be a sign of the apocalypse.

The unexpected has happened so continually in my life that it has ceased to deserve the name.

The 100% American is 99% idiot.

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

There are more bad musicians than there is bad music.

There's nothing like a headless corpse to bring a touch of excitement into one's life.

It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor but the highest form of flattery.

From a private gentlewoman you have made me first a marchioness, then a queen; and, as you can raise me no higher in the world, you are now sending me to be a saint in Heaven.

Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say you've got a pretty neck.

I'd love to start some movements. What I'm tired of is irony, and sarcasm, and music/movies/what have you, not having the guts to mean anything.

Better never than late.

Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.

Sarcasm is not the rapier of wit its wielders seem to believe it to be, but merely a club: it may, by dint of brute force, occasionally raise bruises, but it never cuts or pierces.

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.

My natural-born sarcasm, when it's unimpeded, can be a bit overbearing at times and I'm the first to admit that.

It’s fascinating. You know all these words, and they’re all English, but when you string them together into sentences, they just don’t make any sense.