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When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
My dear: in this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it.
A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of Hell.
Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to the country and to mankind is to bring up a family.
Doing what needs to be done may not make you happy, but it will make you great.
Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad.
The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not.
Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
If women were particular about men's characters, they would never get married at all.
Marriage is good enough for the lower classes: they have facilities for desertion that are denied to us.
You don't learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard but by attacking and getting well hammered yourself.
The great advantage of a hotel is that it's a refuge from home life.
You have learned something. That always feels at first as if you had lost something.
What man really wishes to do he will find a means of doing.
It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman despise him.
If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion.
A pessimist? A man who thinks everybody as nasty as himself and hates them for it.
If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, you'll find you've done it.