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Victor Borge Quotes

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Victor Borge Quotes: "Laughter is the closest distance between two people."

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.




Victor Borge Quotes: "Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals."

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.




Victor Borge Quotes: "Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad."

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.



Victor Borge Quotes: "Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth."

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.




Victor Borge Quotes: "A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight."

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.



Victor Borge Quotes: "One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace."

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.



Victor Borge Quotes: "He was happily married - but his wife wasn't."

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.




Victor Borge Quotes: "Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function."

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.



Victor Borge Quotes: "I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it."

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.



Victor Borge Quotes: "Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos."

Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.



Victor Borge Quotes: "Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government."

Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.



Victor Borge Quotes: "What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.




Victor Borge Quotes: "In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say."

In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.



Victor Borge Quotes: "Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger."

Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.



Victor Borge Quotes: "I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so."

I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.



Victor Borge Quotes: "I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year."

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.



Victor Borge Quotes: "In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite."

In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.



Victor Borge Quotes: "The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer."

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.



Victor Borge Quotes: "I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary."

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.



Victor Borge Quotes: "The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him."

The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.



Victor Borge Quotes: "(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?"

(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?



Victor Borge Quotes: "I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?"

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?



Victor Borge Quotes: "(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?"

(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?



Victor Borge Quotes: "I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't."

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.



Victor Borge Quotes: "When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum."

When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.



Victor Borge Quotes: "If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward."

If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.



Victor Borge Quotes: "Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats."

Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.



Victor Borge Quotes: "I do not have a single white note on my piano; my elephant smoked too much."

I do not have a single white note on my piano; my elephant smoked too much.



Victor Borge Quotes: "Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics."

Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.



Victor Borge Quotes: "The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things."

The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.



Victor Borge Quotes: "The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold."

The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.



Victor Borge Quotes: "My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it."

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.



Victor Borge Quotes: "Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset."

Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.



Victor Borge Quotes: "The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all."

The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.



Victor Borge Quotes: "It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it."

It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.



Victor Borge Quotes: "When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance."

When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.



Victor Borge Quotes: "...the elephant smoked too much."

...the elephant smoked too much.



Victor Borge Quotes: "The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)"

The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)



Victor Borge Quotes: "They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert."

They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.



Victor Borge Quotes: "There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen."

There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.



Victor Borge Quotes: "I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano."

I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.



Victor Borge Quotes: "You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!"

You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!



Victor Borge Quotes: "Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice."

Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.



Victor Borge Quotes: "How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us."

How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.



Victor Borge Quotes: "There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane."

There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.



Victor Borge Quotes: "You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?"

You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?



Victor Borge Quotes: "The shortest distance between two people is a smile."

The shortest distance between two people is a smile.



Victor Borge Quotes: "I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary."

I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.



Victor Borge Quotes: "Flint must be an extremely wealthy town I see that each of you bought two or three seats."

Flint must be an extremely wealthy town I see that each of you bought two or three seats.