Will Rogers Quotes

Don't let yesterday take up too much of today.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

If stupidity got us into this, why can't stupidity get us out?

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

I never met a man that I didn't like.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress?

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.

To make money buy some good stock hold it until it goes up and then sell it. If it doesn't go up don't buy it.

So get a few laughs and do the best you can.

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble it's what we know that ain't so.

There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

Everybody is ignorant, Just on different subjects.

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

The Republicans have their splits right after election and Democrats have theirs just before an election.

We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.

A holding company is the people you give your money to while you're being searched.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

I don't know what humor is.

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'

Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Everyone is ignorant only on different subjects.

Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up then sell it. If it don't go up don't buy it.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

AH I know is what I see in the papers.