Josh Billings Quotes
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As a general thing when a woman wears the pants in a family she has a good right to them.
Pity costs nothing and ain't worth nothing.
There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.
Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself and then deliberately gets into.
The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.
It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself but the most inconvenient too.
I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.
The trouble ain't that people are ignorant: it's that they know so much that ain't so.
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
Marrying for love may be a bit risky but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Don't mistake pleasures for happiness. They are a different breed of dog.
There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
If it wasn't for faith there would be no living in this world we couldn't even eat hash with any safety.
The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
There are people who are always anticipating trouble and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
A dog Is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.
Money will buy a pretty good dog but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
When a man comes to me for advice I find out the kind of advice he wants and I give it to him.
Faith is the soul riding at anchor.
The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.
There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist - it reduces him to his fighting weight.
There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
It is the little things that fret and worry us you can dodge an elephant but not a fly.
It ain't no disgrace for a man to fall but to lie there and grunt is.
Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you do hold well.
Pity costs nothin' and ain't worth nothin'.
Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting things he has got.
the squeeky wheel gets the grease.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles safe on her nose all the time.
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
To bring up a child in the way he should go travel that way yourself once in a while.
A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.
Nature never makes any blunders when she makes a fool she means it.
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself but the most inconvenient one too.
In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.