Funny Travel Quotes

Funny Travel Quote of the day

Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way.

Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.

No matter how you travel, it's still you going.

August in Kansas City is hotter than two rats f**king in a sock.

I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

If black boxes survive air crashes - why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do.

Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?"

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Never trust anything you read in a travel article.

The world is a globe — the farther you sail, the closer to home you are.

France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything that's open for business.

My Scottie refused to go for a walk with a friend of the house, but she would joyously accompany any stranger who drove a car.

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

In San Francisco, Halloween is redundant.

There's nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home.

I've been to Paris. And it ain't that pretty at all.

A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.

There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.

Greyhound Bus Lines motto: "We Stop For Some Damn Thing Every 200 Yards."

I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

The likelihood of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times the direction-giver says, 'You can't miss it'.

I wouldn't mind dying for France, but not for Air France.

I'm living my dream right now. I get to make music, perform and travel.

The Spanish government, having run completely out of money, secretly sold the Pyrenees to China, and is now separated from France only by traffic cones.

In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.

Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.

I travel a lot to promote the perfumes and to do the commercials.

The further one goes, the less (he realizes he) one knows.

I like to travel. I love touring, I love playing.

Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"

The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.

I look forward to the invention of faster-than-light travel. What I'm not looking forward to is the long wait in the dark once I arrive at my destination.

I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.

San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions.

Dear Hotel People: We don't need a cheeseball clock-radio. WE NEED PLACES TO PLUG STUFF IN. Thank you.

Here for business or pleasure, Mr. Wheeler?""Redemption, " Shane says.