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Terry Pratchett Quotes

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Terry Pratchett Quotes: "The worst thing you can do is nothing."

The worst thing you can do is nothing.




Terry Pratchett Quotes: "There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this."

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.




Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all."

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four."

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.




Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot."

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves."

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.




Terry Pratchett Quotes: "I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro."

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top."

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it." "No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short."

Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it." "No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "William: "I'm sure we can all pull together, sir." Vetinari: "Oh, I do hope not. Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions."

William: "I'm sure we can all pull together, sir." Vetinari: "Oh, I do hope not. Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions.




Terry Pratchett Quotes: ""Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure sign of a diseased mind.""

"Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure sign of a diseased mind."



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended."

Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk."

He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy."

If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because - what with trolls and dwarfs and so on - speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green."

Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because - what with trolls and dwarfs and so on - speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "You're not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more," said Yo-less. "It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons."

You're not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more," said Yo-less. "It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist."

There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "The Kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance."

The Kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Never trust a species that grins all the time. It’s up to something."

Never trust a species that grins all the time. It’s up to something.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It’s a feeling inside that can hardly be contained."

Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It’s a feeling inside that can hardly be contained.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "One day a tortoise will learn how to fly."

One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "His parents called him Youngster. They did this in the subconcious hope that he might take the hint. Wensleydale gave the impression of having been born with a mental age of 47."

His parents called him Youngster. They did this in the subconcious hope that he might take the hint. Wensleydale gave the impression of having been born with a mental age of 47.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Nature abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the Marie Celeste, and the chuck keys for electric drills."

Nature abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the Marie Celeste, and the chuck keys for electric drills.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free."

It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad."

Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed."

All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk [...]"

Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk [...]



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show."

Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Mere animals couldn’t possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid."

Mere animals couldn’t possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck."

Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter."

What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides."

There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord." Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one."

The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord." Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE."

I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war."

Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote."

Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this."

In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Given enough coffee I could rule the world"

Given enough coffee I could rule the world



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Its useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one."

Its useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away."

No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks."

The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that."

Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "The Auditors fluttered anxiously. And, as always happens in their species when something goes radically wrong and needs fixing instantly, they settled down to try to work how who was to blame."

The Auditors fluttered anxiously. And, as always happens in their species when something goes radically wrong and needs fixing instantly, they settled down to try to work how who was to blame.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things."

Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "Not all questions are answered, but fortunately some answers are questioned."

Not all questions are answered, but fortunately some answers are questioned.



Terry Pratchett Quotes: "I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."

I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.