The world is a globe — the farther you sail, the closer to home you are.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

If we forget our story we were doomed to repeat it

Dreams are possibilities, cherish your dreams.

Needs are islands of stability in a sea of wants.

The Arabs of the land of Israel [ Palestinians] have only one functionleft to them -- to run away.

First tell the truth, then give your opinion.

Television is such a mediocre medium.

I trained at The Groundlings and was surrounded by some very funny women and also some very unfunny men. I didn't feel a sense of things being different because I was a girl.

Even those who fancy themselves the most progressive will fight against other kinds of progress, for each of us is convinced that our way is the best way.

The share of wealth held by the minority is much greater than the share held by the majority. We have to draw our own conclusions from that and it has to change.

When obedience is so impious, revolt is a necessity.