Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.

If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

See people in the light of their potentials, not their problems.

Some flowers need flames to find their way into this world.

Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

The real problem of life is never a lack of time. The real problem of life - in my life - is lack of thanksgiving.

Eight shows a week is daunting, and it can be terrifying. But it just instills such a sense of confidence and growth.

I actually think love changes everything. I think it's the only thing worth having.

The 3 questions of greatest concern are:, 1) Is it attractive?, 2) Is it amusing?, 3) Does it know its place?

Tell others about the truth that sets you free.

What rings true is that everything we grow through in life will work out for our good.

The hypotheses we accept ought to explain phenomena which we have observed. But they ought to do more than this: our hypotheses ought to foretell phenomena which have not yet been observed.