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Red Buttons Quotes: "When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary."

When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.



Red Buttons Quotes: "Moses, who said to the children of Israel, Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before. Never got a dinner!"

Moses, who said to the children of Israel, Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before. Never got a dinner!




Red Buttons Quotes: "Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!"

Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!"

Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!




Red Buttons Quotes: "Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!"

Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!"

George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!"

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!




Red Buttons Quotes: "Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?""

Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?"



Red Buttons Quotes: "Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!"

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Goliath's mother, who said to Goliath, Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned! Never got a dinner!"

Goliath's mother, who said to Goliath, Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned! Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Crispus Attucks, who said, Don't shoot till you see the whites! Never got a dinner!"

Crispus Attucks, who said, Don't shoot till you see the whites! Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "George Washington, who said to his father, Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President? Never got a dinner!"

George Washington, who said to his father, Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President? Never got a dinner!




Red Buttons Quotes: "Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You're flat! Never got a dinner!"

Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You're flat! Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Joan Rivers, who said to Marcel Marceau, Can we talk? Never got a dinner!"

Joan Rivers, who said to Marcel Marceau, Can we talk? Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, Are you sure it's a chest cold? Never got a dinner!"

Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, Are you sure it's a chest cold? Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Queen Elizabeth, who said, Not now, I'm on the throne. Never got a dinner!"

Queen Elizabeth, who said, Not now, I'm on the throne. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Simon Peter, who embarrassed the other disciples at the Last Supper by asking for seconds. Never got a dinner!"

Simon Peter, who embarrassed the other disciples at the Last Supper by asking for seconds. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!"

Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, It's only a nickname. Never got a dinner!"

Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, It's only a nickname. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn't want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner!"

Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn't want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Moses, who said when the Red Sea parted, What the hell was that? I was just going in for a dip! Never got a dinner!"

Moses, who said when the Red Sea parted, What the hell was that? I was just going in for a dip! Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "John Travolta, who said, My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash. Never got a dinner!"

John Travolta, who said, My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there."

George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.



Red Buttons Quotes: "Venus de Milo's mother, who once said to Venus, You never call me. Can't you pick up a phone? Never got a dinner!"

Venus de Milo's mother, who once said to Venus, You never call me. Can't you pick up a phone? Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Adam, who said to Eve, What do you mean you have nothing to wear? Never got a dinner!"

Adam, who said to Eve, What do you mean you have nothing to wear? Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, Maybe we're white. Never got a dinner!"

Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, Maybe we're white. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "William Tell's son, Telly, who said as his father was pointing the bow and arrow at the apple on his head, There's gotta be an easier way to kill worms. Never got a dinner!"

William Tell's son, Telly, who said as his father was pointing the bow and arrow at the apple on his head, There's gotta be an easier way to kill worms. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!"

Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner!"

Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Noah's wife, who said to Noah, Don't let the elephants watch the rabbits. Never got a dinner!"

Noah's wife, who said to Noah, Don't let the elephants watch the rabbits. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said to his tailor Irving, Forget the slacks - please work on the blazer! Never got a dinner!"

The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said to his tailor Irving, Forget the slacks - please work on the blazer! Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Eve said to the serpent, “You know I could go for a bite to eat, but I don't know you from Adam.”"

Eve said to the serpent, “You know I could go for a bite to eat, but I don't know you from Adam.”



Red Buttons Quotes: "The Invisible Man, who said to his wife, I don't care if it looks silly, don't stop! Never got a dinner!"

The Invisible Man, who said to his wife, I don't care if it looks silly, don't stop! Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Sonny Von Bulow, who said to her husband Claus on their honeymoon, Stop needling me. Never got a dinner!"

Sonny Von Bulow, who said to her husband Claus on their honeymoon, Stop needling me. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Steven Spielberg's mother, who said to E.T., I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed! Never got a dinner!"

Steven Spielberg's mother, who said to E.T., I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed! Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Michelangelo's girlfriend, who said to Angelo, Forget the paint - let's put a mirror on the ceiling. Never got a dinner!"

Michelangelo's girlfriend, who said to Angelo, Forget the paint - let's put a mirror on the ceiling. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, Who sent for all this ice? Never got a dinner!"

The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, Who sent for all this ice? Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, I will not live in a house with a Little John. Never got a dinner!"

Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, I will not live in a house with a Little John. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner!"

Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!"

Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light!"

Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Uncle Remus, who said to Uncle Ben, You're a credit to your rice. Never got a dinner!"

Uncle Remus, who said to Uncle Ben, You're a credit to your rice. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Sophia Loren, whose new baby asked her, Is all that for me? Never got a dinner!"

Sophia Loren, whose new baby asked her, Is all that for me? Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Elizabeth Taylor has a big heart. She recently built a halfway house for girls who don't want to go all the way."

Elizabeth Taylor has a big heart. She recently built a halfway house for girls who don't want to go all the way.



Red Buttons Quotes: "Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner!"

Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!"

King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Abraham Lincoln, who said, A house divided... is a condominium. Never got a dinner!"

Abraham Lincoln, who said, A house divided... is a condominium. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Alexander Graham Bell's wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner!"

Alexander Graham Bell's wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner!



Red Buttons Quotes: "Some of the most famous people in history never got a dinner!"

Some of the most famous people in history never got a dinner!