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Bob Hope Quotes

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Bob Hope Quotes: "Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands"

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands




Bob Hope Quotes: "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it."

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.



Bob Hope Quotes: "It you watch a game it's fun. If you play it it's recreation. If you work at it it's golf."

It you watch a game it's fun. If you play it it's recreation. If you work at it it's golf.



Bob Hope Quotes: "I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?"

I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?




Bob Hope Quotes: "When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano."

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.



Bob Hope Quotes: "The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast."

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.



Bob Hope Quotes: "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.




Bob Hope Quotes: "My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?"

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?



Bob Hope Quotes: "Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.



Bob Hope Quotes: "When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness."

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness.



Bob Hope Quotes: "If you watch a game it's fun. If you play it it's recreation. If you work at it it's golf."

If you watch a game it's fun. If you play it it's recreation. If you work at it it's golf.



Bob Hope Quotes: "The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off."

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.




Bob Hope Quotes: "We had a very successful trip to Russia we got back."

We had a very successful trip to Russia we got back.



Bob Hope Quotes: "I don't generally feel anything until noon then it's time for my nap."

I don't generally feel anything until noon then it's time for my nap.



Bob Hope Quotes: "The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned."

The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.



Bob Hope Quotes: "I do benefits for all religions. ... I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."

I do benefits for all religions. ... I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.



Bob Hope Quotes: "If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf."

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.



Bob Hope Quotes: "I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful."

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.



Bob Hope Quotes: "Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art. If I ever catch him, I'm going to kill the guy."

Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art. If I ever catch him, I'm going to kill the guy.



Bob Hope Quotes: "People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.



Bob Hope Quotes: "A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live."

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.



Bob Hope Quotes: "I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty."

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.



Bob Hope Quotes: "I have too much money invested in sweaters."

I have too much money invested in sweaters.



Bob Hope Quotes: "If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it."

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.



Bob Hope Quotes: "I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap."

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.



Bob Hope Quotes: "If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble."

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.



Bob Hope Quotes: "I was lucky I wasn't a better boxer or that's what I'd be now - a punchy ex-pug."

I was lucky I wasn't a better boxer or that's what I'd be now - a punchy ex-pug.



Bob Hope Quotes: "A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?"

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?