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P.J. O'Rourke Quotes

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P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women."

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.




P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.




P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin."

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it."

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.




P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause."

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats."

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective."

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.




P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!"

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race"

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do."

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "When Adam Smith was being incomprehensible, he didn't have the luxury of brief, snappy technical terms as a shorthand for incoherence."

When Adam Smith was being incomprehensible, he didn't have the luxury of brief, snappy technical terms as a shorthand for incoherence.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I grew up in a gym in Miami, the one where Muhammad Ali trained. I had 142 amateur fights and lost three."

I grew up in a gym in Miami, the one where Muhammad Ali trained. I had 142 amateur fights and lost three.




P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money."

It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it."

Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "You should keep a photograph of Mick Lyons on the mantlepiece to keep children away from the fire"

You should keep a photograph of Mick Lyons on the mantlepiece to keep children away from the fire



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers."

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "With Epcot Center, the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life."

With Epcot Center, the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Walt is dead. And, after a couple of hours at Epcot, you'll wish you were, too."

Walt is dead. And, after a couple of hours at Epcot, you'll wish you were, too.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I don't mind getting punched in the nose by a guy standing in front of me. It's getting stabbed in the back that I can't handle."

I don't mind getting punched in the nose by a guy standing in front of me. It's getting stabbed in the back that I can't handle.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "The Three Branches of Government: Money, Television, and Bullshit"

The Three Branches of Government: Money, Television, and Bullshit



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money."

It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Term limits aren't enough. We need jail."

Term limits aren't enough. We need jail.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I did a picture for the First Barbie doll box."

I did a picture for the First Barbie doll box.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Maybe a nation that consumes as much booze and dope as we do and has our kind of divorce statistics should pipe down about "character issues.""

Maybe a nation that consumes as much booze and dope as we do and has our kind of divorce statistics should pipe down about "character issues."



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I don't think I'll ever be a real boat reporter. My Rolex isn't big enough."

I don't think I'll ever be a real boat reporter. My Rolex isn't big enough.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "It remains to be seen which program will cause greater societal damage: China's one-child policy or America's one-parent policy."

It remains to be seen which program will cause greater societal damage: China's one-child policy or America's one-parent policy.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "You can't get good Chinese takeout in China and Cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about communism."

You can't get good Chinese takeout in China and Cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about communism.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Comeback is a good word, man."

Comeback is a good word, man.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Microeconomics is about money you don't have, and macroeconomics is about money the government is out of."

Microeconomics is about money you don't have, and macroeconomics is about money the government is out of.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "If government were a product, selling it would be illegal."

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have."

You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Personally, I believe a rocking hammock, a good cigar, and a tall gin-and-tonic is the way to save the planet."

Personally, I believe a rocking hammock, a good cigar, and a tall gin-and-tonic is the way to save the planet.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger."

I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators."

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich."

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I had a lot of anger inside me and that came out at times that were not particularly advantageous to me career-wise."

I had a lot of anger inside me and that came out at times that were not particularly advantageous to me career-wise.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Good manners consist of doing precisely what everyone thinks should be done, especially when no one knows quite what that is."

Good manners consist of doing precisely what everyone thinks should be done, especially when no one knows quite what that is.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I hope people enjoy what I do. That would make me happy because I'd be bringing others pleasure while doing something I like."

I hope people enjoy what I do. That would make me happy because I'd be bringing others pleasure while doing something I like.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "I'm an old broken down piece of meat and I deserve to be all alone . . ."

I'm an old broken down piece of meat and I deserve to be all alone . . .



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "El Salvador has the scenery of northern California and the climate of southern California plus - and this was a relief - no Californians."

El Salvador has the scenery of northern California and the climate of southern California plus - and this was a relief - no Californians.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there."

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult."

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Hubris is one of the great renewable resources."

Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal"

No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "Liberalism is just Communism sold by the drink."

Liberalism is just Communism sold by the drink.



P.J. O'Rourke Quotes: "If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free."

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.