Comedian Quotes

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.

When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it.

I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second.

Comedian makes the statement that just isn't true.

The idea of a Japanese comedian was not only a rarity, it was non-existent.

I see myself as a comedian rather than a female comedian. I happen to be a woman, but I am a comedian by trade.

They're the darkest people I know, comedians.

As comedians, we have the opportunity to convey a message that will have an effect. The best can make you laugh and cry, the way musicians and actors can.

But I will say that most comedians are the saddest people I know. That is the biggest paradox to me.

One night I attended a Laughing Liberally comedy show. There was one funny comedian there - Lee Camp.

A comedian sees the world bent. I'm tangent to the circle.

I always loved comedy, but I never knew it was something you could learn to do. I always thought that some people are born comedians ... just like some people are born dentists.

I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who just happens to be funny on occasion.

I'm not a comedian. I can play off of people, but I'm not that guy. I don't want people being like, 'Yeah, he should have stuck with drama.' It would not be my choice to have critics mumbling that.

Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'

Comedians... they're different from actors. There's more ego there. They create the whole thing, I guess, so they're more precious.

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

I never wanted to be a magician. I never wanted to be a comedian. I never wanted to be onstage.

It takes many years to be a great comedian.

The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.

I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.

I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated.

A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.

The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.

There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I dont even have to exaggerate.

Having other comedians complimenting my work is the biggest accolade that I can get.

Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.

I believe I am God's favorite comedian. I think he is a really big comedy writer. He writes scripts. And I just follow along.

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about.

I started when I was 14. I figured out that's what I wanted to do when I was 14. Even when I was six, I can remember people telling me, "You're gonna be a comedian," and all this stuff.

I consider myself a sit-down comedian really, as much as anything else. I love comedy. Life is a cosmic joke.

Sometimes, as a comedian, a line will come to you, that is so beautiful, so perfect, that you think: I did not create this line. This line belongs to all of us. Surely this is a line of God

I'm a comedian so I'm not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don't have to wait for somebody else to create my next job; I have the ability to basically write my own ticket.

Audiences have proved time and again that they don't want a steady diet of any entertainer airing his social views - especially if he's a comedian.

Even when I lecture per se, I am a joke comedian, I can do the voices.

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

I thought I better warn you that I am not one of those politically correct comedians, but it turns out that also I'm not really that racist, homophobic or woman hating either, so you might not notice

Even if I wasn't an actress or a comedian, I would be spreading love and laughter [with] whatever I did.

What great comedians, great comic writers, great comic actors do is that they just read the headlines with the right eyebrow position and it's funny.

I'm not a comedian, I'm an actor.

Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it's hard for giant egos to admit you need anyone but yourself to be what you are.

A lot of people think I'm a comedian.

My goal is just to become a better comedian.

A comedian is not a person who opens a funny door - he's the person who opens a door funny.

I'm a stand-up comedian-turned-actor-turned-vampire at night.

There are few lonelier sights than a good comedian being funny in a movie that doesn't know what funny is.

Well, a lot of politics is communicating with people, and obviously comedy has something to do with that. I've been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you're under pressure.

I think the hard thing for young comedians is that the majority of the young people in the audience out there don't have the wide range of references.

Johnny Carson is a comedian who is seen every night in millions of bedrooms all over America...and that's why his last wife left him.

The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .