Brad Williams Quotes

That is the most confusing and insane thing to me, when people get offended on behalf of another group.

I hate that when people are like, "Well, all dwarves know each other, right?" And you want to get mad, but you can't because we do.

I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.

It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.

People ask me a lot like, "Hey, so when are you done with your tour?" Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.

I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.

Comedian makes the statement that just isn't true.

The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.

Everyone's extremely and easily offended now.

I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.

I found out if you're a funny guy, a lot of people like you.

Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to - everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.

There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made funny. It's just that they don't fit my particular skill set.

I'm not going to talk too much politics because I'm not smart enough to do that.

I admire ventriloquists, because I can't do that. I mean, I might get mistaken for a ventriloquist dummy every now and then, but I can't do what they do.

I'm in awe of comics that do things that I can't do, or haven't tried doing yet.

I don't think I'm extremely intelligent by any means.

I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.

Every now and then we're going to fail.

Now, I've gotten to the point in my career, I'm 13 years in, to where I know that I'm funny. I know that I'm good at this.

There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.

When you talk about modern comedy I think there's a big three right now, and that's Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Jim Jefferies. I don't think anyone's doing it better than those three guys.

If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.

In every other aspect of their life, we have entertainment that is crafted almost to an individual. So they expect that from stand-up as well.

I don't want to be mean. I try not to be.

For strangers, what I get a lot is people calling me the opposite of what I am.

It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.

I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.

I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.

Women feel safe with me as well they should, because not only am I morally objected at going too far, but physically I cannot do it.

When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, "And now his watch is over." That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, "And now his tour is done."

I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.

I kind of want to know a little bit about everything.

I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don't pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.

I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, "Oh, what do I do for fun?"

I don't take too many things too seriously.

I try not to be hateful.

Women feel safe with me. Because a woman with me knows that she can stop the situation from advancing to a point that she's comfortable at any time.

I don't know how to write jokes from the point of view of a six-foot-two guy. So, I'll always talk about it, but I just don't want it to be the absolute focus of all of my act.

If I do talk politics it's very surface, it's not in-depth.

Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.

I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.