A lot of people think I'm a comedian.

If you want the rainbow you gotta put up with the rain.

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

Storms make trees take deeper roots.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.

A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey.

I'm on a seafood diet - I see food, I eat it.

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.

We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

If the grass is greener on the other side, try planting better seeds.

What did you do for them, Bone? Teach them to read and write? Help them rebuild, give them Christ, help restore a culture? Did you remember to warn them that it could never be Eden?

At least a circus performance does not last long, and the regime availing itself of the services of clownish journalists has the longevity of a mouldering mushroom.

Communism is the corruption of a dream of justice.

The apostle Paul very seriously advised Timothy to put some wine in his water for health's sake, but not one of the apostles nor any of the holy fathers have ever recommended putting water in wine

Many instances of persecution and killing have occurred in countries with atrocious human rights records such as Sri Lanka, Guatemala and the Democratic Republic of Congo.

Romance like a ghost escapes touching; it is always where you are not, not where you are. The interview or conversation was prose at the time, but it is poetry in the memory.

I'm a terrible singer, but it helps when I have to call a taxi.

You are a writer when you tell yourself you are. No one else's opinion matters. Screw them. You are when you say you are.

The best definition of an immortal is someone who hasn't died yet.