Louie Anderson Quotes

We all think we're going to get out of debt.

It's so much easier to be cynical.

I'm washing lettuce. Soon, I'll be on fries. In a few years, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.

My inspiration is coming more and more from the way I feel and the gratitude I feel. The older you get the more humility you have.

My first words were 'Seconds, please.' Most kids in kindergarten napped on a little rug. I had a braided 9 x 12.

I have a very warm spot in my heart for Vegas.

I started a big part of my career in Vegas.

I'm a 7 o'clock act. My people want to go to a show, a dinner and then go home and go to bed.

I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated.

I've been in Vegas. That's where you get into the money thing. Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That's the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500 and refuse to quit.

Minnesotans really think they run the whole world, I love that.

I live in California, the worst place in the world for fat people. There are three of us. They have us on eight-hour shifts, so it works out.

My mother loved people and she loved conversation, and she loved to engage with people. She was a really fantastic person. You would've really liked her.

I used to do my dad smoked, he drank, we finally had to kill him.

I have to be very careful about how I do any stuff on sadness 'cause the crowd gets really sad and concerned for me.

I just had a throwaway part, really, if you think about it. I'm not a natural actor, you know? I'm a comedian, through and through. And I really love my lines. Those are the lines I want to do.

Weight is a glanduar thing, as well as an emotional thing.

Let me tell you about my family.

My mom ate every piece of butter in the Midwest, she lived till she was 90. And my dad, he smoked, he drank - we finally just had to kill him.

If I were the last person on earth, some moron would turn left in front of me.

You have to not worry or doubt or punish yourself. All the worry, doubt and punishment will not add one second to your life, you know?

After 34 years, I feel like I did when I was starting out. I feel excited and feel I've never been better doing what I do.

I have added a lot. There's some Vegas stuff and hotel stuff and a whole chunk on health.

Azhar Usman is a true original and will laugh the hate right out of you.

You have to be funny about it and honest about it. You can't leave yourself out of that mix. You have to be honest enough to say, I'm that messed-up one in the family.