When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Stolen oranges also have Vitamin C. Likewise, a stolen salmon, too, has omega-3 fatty acids.

I am shocked by the easy attitude of many in the media towards disclosing our Nation's secrets.

I've always thought of writing as sort of active communication.

Even if you enjoy the activity of exploring caves, to be trapped and not know whether you're going to get out alive is terrifying.

Instantaneity is photography.

You and I have never seen democracy; all we've seen is hypocrisy.

We must support as much as possible the child's desires for activity; not wait on him, but educate him to be independent.

One eventually has enough even of oneself.

In sports, as in love, one can never pretend.

Needing nothing attracts everything.