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Sarcastic Quotes

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Sarcastic Quotes: "Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself."

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.




Sarcastic Quotes: "If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you."

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.




Sarcastic Quotes: "I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress."

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.



Sarcastic Quotes: "I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!"

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!




Sarcastic Quotes: "Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber."

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.



Sarcastic Quotes: "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well."

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.



Sarcastic Quotes: "What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself."

What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.




Sarcastic Quotes: "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it."

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.



Sarcastic Quotes: "If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?"

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?



Sarcastic Quotes: "Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?"

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?



Sarcastic Quotes: "The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced."

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.



Sarcastic Quotes: "You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else."

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.




Sarcastic Quotes: "The empty vessel makes the loudest sound."

The empty vessel makes the loudest sound.



Sarcastic Quotes: "If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out."

If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.



Sarcastic Quotes: "In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism. They have formed their own 4-H Club - the 'hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history.'"

In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism. They have formed their own 4-H Club - the 'hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history.'



Sarcastic Quotes: "History repeats itself, the first as tragedy, then as farce."

History repeats itself, the first as tragedy, then as farce.



Sarcastic Quotes: "I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction."

I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.



Sarcastic Quotes: "Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people."

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.



Sarcastic Quotes: "A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.



Sarcastic Quotes: "My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them."

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.



Sarcastic Quotes: "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.



Sarcastic Quotes: "She is a peacock in everything but beauty!"

She is a peacock in everything but beauty!



Sarcastic Quotes: "He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career."

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.



Sarcastic Quotes: "A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility."

A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.



Sarcastic Quotes: "Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly."

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.



Sarcastic Quotes: "God forbid that any book should be banned. The practice is as indefensible as infanticide."

God forbid that any book should be banned. The practice is as indefensible as infanticide.



Sarcastic Quotes: "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit."

Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.



Sarcastic Quotes: "You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest."

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.



Sarcastic Quotes: "It is true that liberty is precious; so precious that it must be carefully rationed."

It is true that liberty is precious; so precious that it must be carefully rationed.



Sarcastic Quotes: "The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife."

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.



Sarcastic Quotes: "What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement."

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.



Sarcastic Quotes: "Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.



Sarcastic Quotes: "Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic."

Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.



Sarcastic Quotes: "There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.



Sarcastic Quotes: "Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.



Sarcastic Quotes: "Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable."

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.



Sarcastic Quotes: "We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time."

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.



Sarcastic Quotes: "It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue."

It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.



Sarcastic Quotes: "Political correctness is tyranny with manners."

Political correctness is tyranny with manners.



Sarcastic Quotes: "Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?"

Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?



Sarcastic Quotes: "The government is good at one thing. It knows how to break your legs, and then hand you a crutch and say, "See if it weren't for the government, you wouldn't be able to walk"."

The government is good at one thing. It knows how to break your legs, and then hand you a crutch and say, "See if it weren't for the government, you wouldn't be able to walk".



Sarcastic Quotes: "When a hunter is in a tree stand with high moral values and with the proper hunting ethics and richer for the experience, that hunter is 20 feet closer to God."

When a hunter is in a tree stand with high moral values and with the proper hunting ethics and richer for the experience, that hunter is 20 feet closer to God.



Sarcastic Quotes: "If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire."

If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.



Sarcastic Quotes: "If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you."

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.



Sarcastic Quotes: "I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it."

I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.



Sarcastic Quotes: "If you are first you are first. If you are second, you are nothing."

If you are first you are first. If you are second, you are nothing.



Sarcastic Quotes: "A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it."

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.



Sarcastic Quotes: "The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is."

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.



Sarcastic Quotes: "I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting."

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.