Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

You are the fans, sit back and watch. That's all you're doing anyway.

Man, I really like Vegas.

The most profound things are inexpressible.

i'm alternatingly brilliant and witless-and sleepless: bed is just a swamp to roll in.

How can you be happy in this world? You have a hole in your heart. You have a gateway inside you to lands beyond the world you know. They will call you, as you grow.

Canada is preparing to play a major role in the continued stability and security of Afghanistan through ISAF.

You are an ocean in a drop of dew, all the universes in a thin sack of blood. What are these pleasures then, these joys, these worlds that you keep reaching for, hoping they will make you more alive?

It's important for me to be free and know I'm acting for myself. I do things because I want to, and that's important. You want to be your own person.

No one is truly dead until they are no longer loved.

I used to joke for years that I was a black man. I adopted the black culture, the black race. I married a black woman, and I had black kids. I always considered myself a 'brother.'