Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Last warning. I don't play nice.

The fact that I'm very close with my past relationships is something I pride myself on. My mom is still close to her first husband. It's nice to be able to enjoy someone in a different form.

I love the Dr.Hauschka range and use the cleanser, toner and moisturiser every day.

Fundamentalist groups like Christian Embassy have infiltrated the very top of the U.S. military and gained positions of influence in the Pentagon.

I like to give the actors freedom to take what we have on the page and improve on it. And they do that quite a bit.

Gratitude conserves the vital energies of a person more than any other attitude tested.

I am iron resisting the most enormous magnet there is.

Peace is worth far more than anything they might take from you.

Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries!