I'm old, I'm rich and I'm tired.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

I think Republicans so mistrust Barack Obama, that if Barack Obama says Putin is terrible, they will be some Republicans who just take the other side.

I've never been in love with Marcello [Mastroianni]. I wasn't even attracted to him physically. I admired him. I followed him and supported him, but nothing ever clicked.

Complete freedom from stress is death

Interference between universes at the quantum level means that information transfer takes place between them.

Man needs to suffer. When he does not have real griefs he creates them.

Failure makes us envious. Success makes us greedy.

Books are fountains of knowledge and also help the heart find the way to use that knowledge with wisdom

It's a very, very difficult space to operate in, the restaurant business-it requires a lot of human beings to intersect at just the right place to make it all work out.

What pisses me off is when I've got seven or eight record company fat pig men sitting there telling me what to wear.

Women ... to them any wedding is better than no wedding and a big wedding with a villain preferable to a small one with a saint.