I love advertising because I love lying.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

TO BE IS NOT AS IMPORTANT AS TO FEEL!

He who excuses himself accuses himself. (Qui s'excuse s'accuse.)

Soul meets soul on lovers' lips.

Dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.

You can’t have a normal practice with nine skaters, Until we have more than nine guys, it’s not going to be a regular practice.

Show no love, cause love will get you killed.

Faith does not contradict reason. Faith exceeds reason.

Every man's own character is written so all who will may read it, in the expression of his eyes, the tone of his voice, the posture of his body, the style of his clothes, and the nature of his deeds!

I've taken singing lessons since I was young, just to work on technique.