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Girlfriend Quotes

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Girlfriend Quotes: "I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you ever could just by pressing her follow button."

I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you ever could just by pressing her follow button.




Girlfriend Quotes: "Life without you is like a broken pencil, there's no point."

Life without you is like a broken pencil, there's no point.




Girlfriend Quotes: "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend."

My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.



Girlfriend Quotes: "My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool."

My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.




Girlfriend Quotes: "People often ask me why don't you have a girlfriend. Then I smile and say: I have thousands some just haven't met me yet"

People often ask me why don't you have a girlfriend. Then I smile and say: I have thousands some just haven't met me yet



Girlfriend Quotes: "The average person is either a weakling, or just a happy person who wants to get along, or thinks being tough is having big muscles and strutting around town and having a good-looking girlfriend."

The average person is either a weakling, or just a happy person who wants to get along, or thinks being tough is having big muscles and strutting around town and having a good-looking girlfriend.



Girlfriend Quotes: "My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend."

My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.




Girlfriend Quotes: "Several girlfriends are easier to handle than one wife."

Several girlfriends are easier to handle than one wife.



Girlfriend Quotes: "When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’."

When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’.



Girlfriend Quotes: "I say 'cuz' around Bloods, and I say 'blood' around Crips...I'm twisted. Got Mary, got Lucy, got Molly: that's wifey, girlfriend and mistress."

I say 'cuz' around Bloods, and I say 'blood' around Crips...I'm twisted. Got Mary, got Lucy, got Molly: that's wifey, girlfriend and mistress.



Girlfriend Quotes: "My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom's funeral, while I was asleep."

My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom's funeral, while I was asleep.



Girlfriend Quotes: "My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes."

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.




Girlfriend Quotes: "I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met."

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.



Girlfriend Quotes: "My bed isn't made, I'm tired, I haven't slept well for two weeks. I haven't been laid in a month. I don't have a girlfriend. I have a warrant for my arrest."

My bed isn't made, I'm tired, I haven't slept well for two weeks. I haven't been laid in a month. I don't have a girlfriend. I have a warrant for my arrest.



Girlfriend Quotes: "True maturity is only reached when a man realizes he has become a father figure to his girlfriends' boyfriend - and he accepts it"

True maturity is only reached when a man realizes he has become a father figure to his girlfriends' boyfriend - and he accepts it



Girlfriend Quotes: "I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"

I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'



Girlfriend Quotes: "I'm married to football, baseball is my girlfriend."

I'm married to football, baseball is my girlfriend.



Girlfriend Quotes: "My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you?"

My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you?



Girlfriend Quotes: "I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny."

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.



Girlfriend Quotes: "Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . ."

Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .



Girlfriend Quotes: "I'm always looking for a girlfriend."

I'm always looking for a girlfriend.



Girlfriend Quotes: "I'm a bad boyfriend. She's a bad girlfriend. We deserve each other."

I'm a bad boyfriend. She's a bad girlfriend. We deserve each other.



Girlfriend Quotes: "I like to think of myself as very loyal, and I love everyone I surround myself with, whether they're friends or girlfriends or whatever."

I like to think of myself as very loyal, and I love everyone I surround myself with, whether they're friends or girlfriends or whatever.



Girlfriend Quotes: "'Chasing Amy' was an amazing role, but then after that, I went and did 'Big Daddy' and you're the girlfriend or you're the best friend. I wasn't getting the Nicole Kidman roles."

'Chasing Amy' was an amazing role, but then after that, I went and did 'Big Daddy' and you're the girlfriend or you're the best friend. I wasn't getting the Nicole Kidman roles.



Girlfriend Quotes: "I ask a lot because I'm very curious - especially about ex-girlfriends. I'm pretty good at getting the answers, too."

I ask a lot because I'm very curious - especially about ex-girlfriends. I'm pretty good at getting the answers, too.



Girlfriend Quotes: "My world was a community ballet school, a marching band, my two sisters and my girlfriends. I played saxophone in the band and was a bit nerdy."

My world was a community ballet school, a marching band, my two sisters and my girlfriends. I played saxophone in the band and was a bit nerdy.



Girlfriend Quotes: "My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian."

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.



Girlfriend Quotes: "I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him."

I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him.



Girlfriend Quotes: "Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend."

Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.



Girlfriend Quotes: "When i was 12 all of my friends had girlfriends and i didn't, i felt lonely so i asked my mom to date me."

When i was 12 all of my friends had girlfriends and i didn't, i felt lonely so i asked my mom to date me.



Girlfriend Quotes: "Going to radio with a rap record prior to going to the consumer is like having no foreplay with your girlfriend."

Going to radio with a rap record prior to going to the consumer is like having no foreplay with your girlfriend.



Girlfriend Quotes: "You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary."

You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary.



Girlfriend Quotes: "A girlfriend? No thanks, I'd rather play nintendo and build my lego set!"

A girlfriend? No thanks, I'd rather play nintendo and build my lego set!



Girlfriend Quotes: "The marathon is my only girlfriend. I give her everything I have."

The marathon is my only girlfriend. I give her everything I have.



Girlfriend Quotes: "I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it."

I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.



Girlfriend Quotes: "In my position, I think the best thing I do is just keep girlfriend involved."

In my position, I think the best thing I do is just keep girlfriend involved.



Girlfriend Quotes: "Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it. Some of them are pretty. They don't all look like Bella Abzug."

Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it. Some of them are pretty. They don't all look like Bella Abzug.



Girlfriend Quotes: "Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!"

Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!



Girlfriend Quotes: "Dying to meet your girlfriends that you said you might bring. If they're the ones that tell you that you do the right thing."

Dying to meet your girlfriends that you said you might bring. If they're the ones that tell you that you do the right thing.



Girlfriend Quotes: "I like girls, but I prefer having a girlfriend. I like having someone I can spoil."

I like girls, but I prefer having a girlfriend. I like having someone I can spoil.



Girlfriend Quotes: "Shah Rukh is not my girlfriend that I should remember him. When I don't remember my past girlfriends, what will I remember Shah Rukh for?"

Shah Rukh is not my girlfriend that I should remember him. When I don't remember my past girlfriends, what will I remember Shah Rukh for?



Girlfriend Quotes: "Karma is God's girlfriend."

Karma is God's girlfriend.



Girlfriend Quotes: "Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy."

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.



Girlfriend Quotes: "I'm getting pretty worried. My girlfriend hasn't gotten her period. And she's already 14."

I'm getting pretty worried. My girlfriend hasn't gotten her period. And she's already 14.



Girlfriend Quotes: "Not every problem someone has with his girlfriend is necessarily due to the capitalist mode of production."

Not every problem someone has with his girlfriend is necessarily due to the capitalist mode of production.



Girlfriend Quotes: "I will confess I am a great wingman. Since I have a girlfriend, I'll start the night with her, but then I'll help out the guys by making them sound like the most incredible guys in the world."

I will confess I am a great wingman. Since I have a girlfriend, I'll start the night with her, but then I'll help out the guys by making them sound like the most incredible guys in the world.



Girlfriend Quotes: "Wives, girlfriends, fiancees - clean out your closets. I'm cleaning out my old bell bottoms. We can touch millions."

Wives, girlfriends, fiancees - clean out your closets. I'm cleaning out my old bell bottoms. We can touch millions.



Girlfriend Quotes: "If I have a girlfriend, I don’t bring her to flaunt her. She doesn’t get to reap the benefits of me being famous."

If I have a girlfriend, I don’t bring her to flaunt her. She doesn’t get to reap the benefits of me being famous.



Girlfriend Quotes: "If me and my girlfriend were fighting, and it got to the point where she started crying, I would just shut up and hold her."

If me and my girlfriend were fighting, and it got to the point where she started crying, I would just shut up and hold her.