My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

I've always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is to fill his daylight hours with as much horror as possible.

If you come away with me, I can promise you pain and disgrace, ” I said. “But I will love you like no other can.

We have little power to choose what happens, but we have complete power over how we respond.

If you can imagine it, you can achieve it.

When I was young, I didn't play like I do today. So these kids are starting at the height that I've reached. Think what they might do over time.

I think fame itself is not a rewarding thing. The most you can say is that it gets you a seat in restaurants.

In a competitive society, the thing people fear the most is love.

With women, the heart argues, not the mind.

We can't always have the beautiful aspect of things. Let us make the most of our sights that are beautiful and let the others go

This is an area you always need to address when you're dealing with Dracula is the fact that there is something kind of attractive in his darkness - which there isn't in other horror characters.

Beauty and Truth, tho' never found, are worthy to be sought.