Funny Men Quotes

Funny Men Quote of the day

I ain't afraid to love a man. I ain't afraid to shoot him either.

There is nothing wrong with a woman welcoming all men's advances as long as they are in cash

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

A man should control his life. Mine is controlling me.

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

I'm not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.

The more I know about men the more I like dogs.

It's funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy.

The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases; one of its diseases is called man.

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.

I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

If you can't answer a man's arguments, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them.

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

There is nothing which at once affects a man so much and so little as his own death.

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

Only man had dignity; only man, therefore, can be funny.

Now is the time for all good men to come to.

This is a young man who is only 25, and you have to say, her has answered every question that has ever been asked.

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.

I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one.

If you don't go to other men's funerals, they won't go to yours.

I don't see the point of watching men exercise.

To me, I've never understood why there is any question about are women as funny as men.

I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.

If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.

Money is what makes a man act funny.

The only man who makes money following the races is one who does it with a broom and shovel.

Half Man, Half Sit-Out-The-Season.

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

Money enhances a man, yes, as beauty enhances a woman.

No man's credit is ever as good as his money.

You've got a man-beast, and a ho-beast.

All men would still really like to own a train set.

If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

The person who proclaimed me Best Dressed Man never saw me in my sport outfit.

You don't want to have to be the man and the woman in the relationship. I always say you want a man who can fix the toilet.

You gotta have the balls to go out there and be funny, man.

1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

[Kaz] is a great scholar, very funny - a true man of no rank!

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

I grew up in New York wanting to be like those funny men in the movies and on the radio.

What is wrong with the prosaic Englishman is what is wrong with the prosaic men of all countries: stupidity.

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

Old man with an old phone. That's never not funny.

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.