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H.L. Mencken Quotes

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H.L. Mencken Quotes: "On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.




H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots."

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.




H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right."

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.




H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats."

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance."

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule."

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.




H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses."

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office."

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine."

We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods."

Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.




H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas."

Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates."

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth."

The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right."

Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Most people want security in this world, not liberty."

Most people want security in this world, not liberty.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar."

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong."

For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under."

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft."

As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong."

There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner."

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands."

War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup."

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage."

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values, not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them."

All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values, not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore."

The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A man of active and resilient mind outwears his friendships just as certainly as he outwears his love affairs, his politics and his epistemology."

A man of active and resilient mind outwears his friendships just as certainly as he outwears his love affairs, his politics and his epistemology.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "To denounce moralizing out of hand is to pronounce a moral judgment."

To denounce moralizing out of hand is to pronounce a moral judgment.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place."

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince."

Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral."

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Historian: an unsuccessful novelist."

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous."

The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom."

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Socialist: A man suffering from an overwhelming conviction to believe what is not true."

Socialist: A man suffering from an overwhelming conviction to believe what is not true.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Immortality is the condition of a dead man who doesn't believe he is dead"

Immortality is the condition of a dead man who doesn't believe he is dead



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse."

Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The war on privilege will never end. Its next grat campaign will be against the special privileges of the underprivileged."

The war on privilege will never end. Its next grat campaign will be against the special privileges of the underprivileged.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The State doesn't just want you to obey, it wants to make you WANT to obey."

The State doesn't just want you to obey, it wants to make you WANT to obey.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess."

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits"

The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart."

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Laws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion; they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner"

Laws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion; they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women."

On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin."

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "It is the classic fallacy of our time that a moron run through a university and decorated with a Ph.D. will thereby cease to be a moron."

It is the classic fallacy of our time that a moron run through a university and decorated with a Ph.D. will thereby cease to be a moron.