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Garry Shandling Quotes

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Garry Shandling Quotes: "Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is."

Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I'm very loyal in a relationship. Any relationship. When I go out with my mom, I don't look at other moms and go, "I wonder what her macaroni and cheese tastes like.""

I'm very loyal in a relationship. Any relationship. When I go out with my mom, I don't look at other moms and go, "I wonder what her macaroni and cheese tastes like."




Garry Shandling Quotes: "My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me."

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style."

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.




Garry Shandling Quotes: "Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive."

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead."

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate."

I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.




Garry Shandling Quotes: "Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with."

Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over."

I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms."

I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody.""

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."



Garry Shandling Quotes: "It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside."

It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.




Garry Shandling Quotes: "I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell"

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell



Garry Shandling Quotes: "Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?""

Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I don''t like this reality television, I have to be honest;I think real people should not be on television; It''s for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real"

I don''t like this reality television, I have to be honest;I think real people should not be on television; It''s for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real



Garry Shandling Quotes: "My dog watches me on TV. So, if I may take this opportunity, "No! No! No!""

My dog watches me on TV. So, if I may take this opportunity, "No! No! No!"



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know."

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green."

I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out."

In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large."

I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried."

Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship."

Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name?"

Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name?



Garry Shandling Quotes: "Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders."

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there."

I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show."

The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone."

But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it."

I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I don't talk about my hair anymore because I've matured. I matured and realized it doesn't matter what you look like. It's what kind of hair you have inside that counts."

I don't talk about my hair anymore because I've matured. I matured and realized it doesn't matter what you look like. It's what kind of hair you have inside that counts.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon."

Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "The comic strip is what I looked at, and it's another reason I did it. The comic strip, where animals would comment on human behaviour, interested me."

The comic strip is what I looked at, and it's another reason I did it. The comic strip, where animals would comment on human behaviour, interested me.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much."

I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right."

I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I have such poor vision I can date anybody."

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on."

First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good communicator, too. The only trouble with that is it leads to marriage."

I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good communicator, too. The only trouble with that is it leads to marriage.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest."

I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present."

I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81."

My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.



Garry Shandling Quotes: "There's a good chance that if you're talking to me when I'm snoring, it means I'm bored."

There's a good chance that if you're talking to me when I'm snoring, it means I'm bored.