In his prime, the young comic walked onto a stage with the confidence of a man who owned it, and by the time he walked off, he did.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Let your projects be independent organisms. They will develop their own beautiful architecture.

Sometimes I look at you and I just can't believe you're mine

What will undo any boundary is the awareness that it is our vision, and not what we are viewing, that is limited.

I have been afraid all my life that I am going to die. All my life it has been stuffed in my imagination.

Never forget that the key to the situation lies in the will and not in the imagination.

The tales of our exploits will survive as long as the human voice itself.

Heavy lifting doesn't need to be heavy spending if we do the job right.

It's fun to be a part of pop history. Anytime you can be referenced in that respect it can be cool.

The thing is, Obama is right that it would be a calamity for the government to default on its debt by not meeting its obligations. Such a thing has never happened and can't be allowed to happen.

I'm a prodigal son. The black sheep of a white flock. I shall die on the gallows.