You shouldn’t say mean things to people before they kill you. It’s being a sore loser.

A good friend is someone who gets ya drunk and then walks ya home afterwards.

If the only option you leave poor people with is to resort to violence in order to survive, they’ll do just that. And there are lots more poor people in this world than there are rich ones.

A joke is a witticism or play on words that’s meant to be funny. I say ‘meant to be’ because most jokes aren’t funny. They range between mildly amusing and grimace-inducingly annoying.

Let them come. We’ve got helicopters, tanks, jets, and big guns. We’ve got armies of robots. What do they have but their stench and the squalor they live in?

There’s a big difference between being numb to something and being immune to it.

Well you know what they say. It’s always raining somewhere.

You’ll find a way. You’ll always find a way. And on the rare occasions when you can’t, you’ll have friends who will.

We all end up dying in the end. It’s just a question of how and when.

As far as I know, there’s nothing more dangerous than a man who doesn’t care if he lives or dies.

He could argue a case for anything, but that doesn’t change the fact he’s wrong most of the time.

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children

Registration Day' by Gavin Gunhold (1899— ) Toronto Review of Poetry, 1947On registration day at taxidermy schoolI distinctly saw the eyes of the stuffed mooseMove.

That's what acting is about, Funny wigs and voices, that's what we do.

You need to find yourself a new hero." - Skulduggery Pleasant.

There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.

We find in biking the fullfilment of an antique instinct: vagabondage

I was born in Texas and I lived there 'till I was 8. Then I moved to the Dominican Republic with my mom, lived there for two years and forgot every word of English I knew.

I remember, growing up, if something big - God forbid - happened, the first jokes you heard on the subject came out of Jersey.

Yet, behind the night, Waits for the great unborn, somewhere afar, Some white tremendous daybreak.

I enjoy my work too much to force-feed myself with pressure.