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Jokes Quotes: "Make jokes. No stress. Love. Live Life. Proceed. Progress."

Make jokes. No stress. Love. Live Life. Proceed. Progress.



Jokes Quotes: "They can crack jokes. They can sit back and analyze and criticize and make all the fun they want. But I'm living my life, I'm doing it. What are you doing?"

They can crack jokes. They can sit back and analyze and criticize and make all the fun they want. But I'm living my life, I'm doing it. What are you doing?




Jokes Quotes: "The Mexican...is familiar with death. [He] jokes about it, caresses it, sleeps with it, celebrates it. It is one of his favorite toys and his most steadfast love."

The Mexican...is familiar with death. [He] jokes about it, caresses it, sleeps with it, celebrates it. It is one of his favorite toys and his most steadfast love.



Jokes Quotes: "When you can make others laugh with jokes that belittle no one and your words always unite, Hafiz will vote for you to be God."

When you can make others laugh with jokes that belittle no one and your words always unite, Hafiz will vote for you to be God.




Jokes Quotes: "It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes."

It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.



Jokes Quotes: "I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me."

I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me.



Jokes Quotes: "I did see the Soul Train picture. That was interesting. I've heard all the jokes. I had it coming."

I did see the Soul Train picture. That was interesting. I've heard all the jokes. I had it coming.




Jokes Quotes: "Sure, retarded jokes write themselves. But the spelling is always way off."

Sure, retarded jokes write themselves. But the spelling is always way off.



Jokes Quotes: "I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn't know what to do with me."

I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn't know what to do with me.



Jokes Quotes: "You should not take prayer too seriously. There is something playful about God. You only have to look at a penguin ... to realize that He likes to play little jokes on creatures."

You should not take prayer too seriously. There is something playful about God. You only have to look at a penguin ... to realize that He likes to play little jokes on creatures.



Jokes Quotes: "I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected."

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.



Jokes Quotes: "A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals."

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.




Jokes Quotes: "Here’s my most funniest joke, I’m broke."

Here’s my most funniest joke, I’m broke.



Jokes Quotes: "My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog."

My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog.



Jokes Quotes: "I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them."

I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.



Jokes Quotes: "I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected."

I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.



Jokes Quotes: "Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose."

Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.



Jokes Quotes: "Death's an old joke, but each individual encounters it anew."

Death's an old joke, but each individual encounters it anew.



Jokes Quotes: "The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves."

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.



Jokes Quotes: "I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the same jokes, and everybody laughed like hell."

I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the same jokes, and everybody laughed like hell.



Jokes Quotes: "In real life I'm the type of girl who doesn't take herself too seriously. I'm very serious when it comes to work, but I like to make jokes and have a good laugh and make fun of myself."

In real life I'm the type of girl who doesn't take herself too seriously. I'm very serious when it comes to work, but I like to make jokes and have a good laugh and make fun of myself.



Jokes Quotes: "As long as I could hold a pencil, I was drawing and telling stories and making jokes. I've just been lucky that no one ever stopped me, and now I can do that for a living."

As long as I could hold a pencil, I was drawing and telling stories and making jokes. I've just been lucky that no one ever stopped me, and now I can do that for a living.



Jokes Quotes: "Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive."

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.



Jokes Quotes: "Comedians get jokes offered to them, rock stars get women and underwear thrown onstage, and I get guys that want to take me fishing."

Comedians get jokes offered to them, rock stars get women and underwear thrown onstage, and I get guys that want to take me fishing.



Jokes Quotes: "When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent - no jokes in it for the parents!"

When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent - no jokes in it for the parents!



Jokes Quotes: "And what exactly is a dream and what exactly is a joke?"

And what exactly is a dream and what exactly is a joke?



Jokes Quotes: "The good Lord in his ultimate wisdom gave us three things to make life bearable: hope, jokes, and dogs, but the greatest of these was dogs."

The good Lord in his ultimate wisdom gave us three things to make life bearable: hope, jokes, and dogs, but the greatest of these was dogs.



Jokes Quotes: "People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing."

People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing.



Jokes Quotes: "A symphony is no joke."

A symphony is no joke.



Jokes Quotes: "I was hurt so deep that I made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. I never made jokes about anybody's big ears, their stut-terin', or about them bein' off their nut."

I was hurt so deep that I made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. I never made jokes about anybody's big ears, their stut-terin', or about them bein' off their nut.



Jokes Quotes: "Fate does not play jokes."

Fate does not play jokes.



Jokes Quotes: "Desegregation is a joke."

Desegregation is a joke.



Jokes Quotes: "Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself."

Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself.



Jokes Quotes: "I find that when I tell lawyer jokes to a mixed audience, the lawyers don't think they're funny and the non-lawyers don't think they're jokes."

I find that when I tell lawyer jokes to a mixed audience, the lawyers don't think they're funny and the non-lawyers don't think they're jokes.



Jokes Quotes: "I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray."

I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.



Jokes Quotes: "I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really."

I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.



Jokes Quotes: "Even the gods love jokes."

Even the gods love jokes.



Jokes Quotes: "Everyone seems to think I'm very ladylike. That I'm very cultured and intelligent. I drink alot of Diet Coke and belch. I've been known to use the F-word. I've told a few dirty jokes. I arm-wrestle."

Everyone seems to think I'm very ladylike. That I'm very cultured and intelligent. I drink alot of Diet Coke and belch. I've been known to use the F-word. I've told a few dirty jokes. I arm-wrestle.



Jokes Quotes: "I'm pretty goofy and I make a lot of dumb jokes - life is too short to be serious, so I guess that's how I flirt. To be honest, I think I'm too shy and reserved to be a proper old fashioned flirt."

I'm pretty goofy and I make a lot of dumb jokes - life is too short to be serious, so I guess that's how I flirt. To be honest, I think I'm too shy and reserved to be a proper old fashioned flirt.



Jokes Quotes: "If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you, father."

If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you, father.



Jokes Quotes: "Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody."

Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.



Jokes Quotes: "I like things that are immature and offbeat and bizarre. Random jokes. Weird stuff. And stupid. Stupid is the highest compliment a person can pay to me."

I like things that are immature and offbeat and bizarre. Random jokes. Weird stuff. And stupid. Stupid is the highest compliment a person can pay to me.



Jokes Quotes: "I may make jokes about Microsoft at times, but at the same time, I think the Microsoft hatred is a disease."

I may make jokes about Microsoft at times, but at the same time, I think the Microsoft hatred is a disease.



Jokes Quotes: "It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than trying to make the English laugh."

It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than trying to make the English laugh.



Jokes Quotes: "It's not appropriate to joke about the Ku Klux Klan."

It's not appropriate to joke about the Ku Klux Klan.



Jokes Quotes: "What really got my goat at MGM were comedians like The Marx Brothers who never wrote their own jokes."

What really got my goat at MGM were comedians like The Marx Brothers who never wrote their own jokes.



Jokes Quotes: "The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff."

The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.



Jokes Quotes: "He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish."

He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish.



Jokes Quotes: "I leave it to be settled, by whomsoever it may concern, whether the tendency of this work be altogether to recommend parental tyranny, or reward filial disobedience."

I leave it to be settled, by whomsoever it may concern, whether the tendency of this work be altogether to recommend parental tyranny, or reward filial disobedience.