You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

As we delight in the strange and exotic beauty of orchid flowers, it is salutary to reflect that we are, in essence, looking at their genitalia.

I have a billion what-ifs and no way forward.

The repetition of small efforts will accomplish more than the occasional use of great talents.

The rules of morality are not the conclusion of our reason.

There are levels of poverty in South Africa that are totally unacceptable.

All sorts of things in this world behave like mirrors.

I'm just taking it one day at a time. Actually, that's a total lie. I always think about what's in front of me.

When had Eden grown up? I feel like I blinked and missed it.

The smell of death was thick in the city of Vara?asi. And in Tokyo as well. And yet the birds blissfully sang their songs.

Like most kids, I grew up singing 'This Land Is Your Land' in grammar school, but with the most radical verses neatly removed. This was before I knew it was a Woody Guthrie song.