You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

To live in a spiritual dimension is to be connected to one’s eternal destiny

Bicycles are the most efficient vehicles on the planet, 50 times more efficient than cars, and twice as efficient as walking.

It wouldn't be my move," Jace agreed. "First the candy and flowers, then the apology letters, then the ravenous demon hordes. In that order.

All I wanted to be was a player.

The tourist business is a trap, it is a tained honey; Man clearly should have stayed in bed, and not invented money.

The irony of the process of thought control: the more energy you put into trying to control your ideas and what you think about, the more your ideas end up controlling you.

Most writers are secretly worried that they're not really writers. That it's all been happenstance, something came together randomly, the letters came together, and they won't coalesce ever again.

People have been turned away from hospitals simply because they have no insurance. People have been put out of hospitals because they have reached the lifetime caps.

If you do not like the past, change it.