You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Develop the mindset that prompts you to continue pressing pass your norms - you'll begin to discover a whole new you.

I had a dream about you last night... You tried to propose with a digital ceramic heater.

Fangs out? Check. Claws sharp? Check. Plan? Plan? What plan? I’m making this up as I go.

Once we know of atrocities we cannot remain silent, and knowledge inevitably leads to an urge to protect the innocent.

When you have a steady job you're more inspired to broaden yourself.

I would really, really, really like to be a legend like Madonna. Madonna knows what to do next, and when she's performing, the audience is just in awe of her.

Big book, a big bore.

Near the foot of the mountain we visited a yogi who dwelled in a hollow tunneled beneath a boulder. He pondered our notion of climbing Shivling and said: 'First travel, then struggle, finally calm'.

Writing for children is as easy as describing the history of the Byzantium in three words.

My usual self is a very unusual self.