You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Passions cannot take wings in adversity, and adversities remain prevalent because of dormant passions.

No emergency excuses you from exercising tolerance.

Indeed, better risk management may be the only truly necessary element of success in banking.

One change of attitude would change everything. If everyone realized that it could be a beautiful world and said, 'let's not do these things anymore - let's have fun.'

What we're seeking to do is internalize perception. Perception is very much involved with the senses and the mental processes and the emotional processes.

To be happy, a man must love his wife as she chooses to be loved.

I'm a writer, and I will write what I want to write.

Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper. "Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole." "What?" Piper asked. "Nothing," he said. "Inside joke.

In all the years I played, he (Stan Williams) was the only guy who ever scared me and he was on my team.

As the cause is, so the effect will be.