The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Another glorious day, the air as delicious to the lungs as nectar to the tongue.

Luck is my middle name, " said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad.

I remember a table in BarchesterTowers that had more character than the combined heroes of three recent novels I've read.

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

Obamacare covers very few people.

Reaching toward perfection in any one thing should lift us higher in all things; it should beget a habit of application and thoroughness.

Reporting is pretty vital to me. It keeps me connected to the world. A 40-hour-per-week day job may be less feasible as time goes on.

If you strip the horrors of history from history, the flip side of that is you strip the nobility of rising above such horrors.

One step in the right direction is better than a hundred years of thinking about it.

Does he [the president] possess the power of making war? That power is exclusively vested in Congress. . . . It is the exclusive province of Congress to change a state of peace into a state of war.