The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Maybe you never considered yourself a bully, a batterer or an abuser before, but maybe you are — to yourself.

White people covered the earth like lice.

Boredom is the very opposite of beauty and truth. Life has been sacrificed to profit, and the result is boredom on a massive scale.

Relationships are forever. They are eternal. Not just permanent in this lifetime. Once you establish a relationship, it is an eternal relationship.

I wonder how Jon Stewart is doing right now. I just ... I hope he's happy.

I've always liked what the Navajos say when they part. They never say 'Goodbye.' They say 'Go in beauty.'

God has destined you to soar. You have victory, freedom and excellence on the inside.

It is not obligatory for a generation to have great men.

In the same degree in which a man's mind is nearer to freedom from all passion, in the same degree also is it nearer to strength.

Retreat might give us a moment of respite but years of repentance at our weakness would, I believe, follow.