Sometimes my mother goes through my socks and underwear. I wouldn't mind, but it tickles so much!

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

Half of your mastery of power comes from what you do NOT do, what you do not ALLOW yourself to get dragged into.

I'm the wave pushed by the wind, always receding before reaching the shore.

Cherish forever what makes you unique 'cuz you're really a yawn if it goes!

In their early passions women are in love with the lover, later they are in love with love.

To-day, to-day, be wise, be wise.

It's definitely nerve-racking to be the center of attention. I'm not the kind of an actor that just craves attention 24-7 - but it's part of the deal. You're the leader on the set

I remember her telling me once that rabbits were the gnomes in attendance to the Fairy Queen and that the stars were God's daisy chain. Perfect rot, of course.

My Chevrolet shines like a marble floor. Baby keep it raw, have you modeled before?

Only temporary success is achieved by taking short cuts.

There is no impossibility to him who stands prepared to conquer every hazard. The fearful are the failing.