People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

I've always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is to fill his daylight hours with as much horror as possible.

He was like nothing she’d ever known.Marcii hoped she would come to know him, for he was all she could ever have asked for and more.

I have come to understand that life is composed of a series of coincidences. How we react to these - how we exercise what some refer to as free will - is everything

UFC 151 will be remembered as the event Jon Jones and Greg Jackson murdered.

Crime is not the problem of the victim, the victim didn't create the crime.

So I need the story, Jenna. I need the truth. Right, like the two are the same thing.

And I will never, ever respond to anybody - man, woman, vegetable, or mineral - who tells me to keep my mouth shut.

Be black, shine, aim high.

... No one "gets away" with evil. Judgment always comes, only the timing is uncertain.

An established company which, in an age demanding innovation, is not able to innovation, is doomed to decline and extinction.

I didn't sign any contracts, and I didn't see any oil.