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P.G. Wodehouse Quotes

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P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Captain Bradbury's right eyebrow had now become so closely entangled with his left that there seemed no hope of ever extricating it without the aid of powerful machinery."

Captain Bradbury's right eyebrow had now become so closely entangled with his left that there seemed no hope of ever extricating it without the aid of powerful machinery.




P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "The voice of a donkey braying in the neighbouring meadow seemed like the mocking laughter of demons."

The voice of a donkey braying in the neighbouring meadow seemed like the mocking laughter of demons.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Why don't you get a haircut you look like a chrysanthemum."

Why don't you get a haircut you look like a chrysanthemum.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship."

Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship.




P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts"

Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them."

The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror."

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.




P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine."

There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Employers are like horses — they require management."

Employers are like horses — they require management.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove."

Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time."

It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon."

When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.




P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "And so the merry party began. It was one of those jolly, happy, bread-crumbling parties where you cough twice before you speak, and then decide not to say it after all."

And so the merry party began. It was one of those jolly, happy, bread-crumbling parties where you cough twice before you speak, and then decide not to say it after all.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse."

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind."

Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required."

It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "She gave me another of those long keen looks, and I could see that she was again asking herself if her favourite nephew wasn't steeped to the tonsils in the juice of the grape."

She gave me another of those long keen looks, and I could see that she was again asking herself if her favourite nephew wasn't steeped to the tonsils in the juice of the grape.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Come on, " he said. "Bring the poker."I brought the tongs as well. I felt like it."

Come on, " he said. "Bring the poker."I brought the tongs as well. I felt like it.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter"

-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound."

You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Had his brain been constructed of silk, he would have been hard put to it to find sufficient material to make a canary a pair of cami-knickers."

Had his brain been constructed of silk, he would have been hard put to it to find sufficient material to make a canary a pair of cami-knickers.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled."

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness."

In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "I never feel really comfortable unless I am either actually writing or have a story going. I could not stop writing."

I never feel really comfortable unless I am either actually writing or have a story going. I could not stop writing.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "It is the bungled crime that brings remorse."

It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "The ideal adventurer needs... the quality of not being content to mind his own affairs..."

The ideal adventurer needs... the quality of not being content to mind his own affairs...



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature."

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?"

Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom."

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies."

At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them."

It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more."

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "The butler entered the room a solemn procession of one."

The butler entered the room a solemn procession of one.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag."

Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers."

This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "She ignored my observation. This generally happens with me. Show me a woman, I sometimes say, and I will show you someone who is going to ignore my observations."

She ignored my observation. This generally happens with me. Show me a woman, I sometimes say, and I will show you someone who is going to ignore my observations.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "You can't go by what a girl says, when she's giving you the devil for making a chump of yourself. It's like Shakespeare. Sounds well, but doesn't mean anything."

You can't go by what a girl says, when she's giving you the devil for making a chump of yourself. It's like Shakespeare. Sounds well, but doesn't mean anything.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments."

I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "I mean, if you're asking a fellow to come out of a room so that you can dismember him with a carving knife, it's absurd to tack a 'sir' on to every sentence. The two things don't go together."

I mean, if you're asking a fellow to come out of a room so that you can dismember him with a carving knife, it's absurd to tack a 'sir' on to every sentence. The two things don't go together.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "To find a man's true character, play golf with him."

To find a man's true character, play golf with him.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun."

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth."

This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "It went automatically to a heavy-weight mother with beetling eyebrows who looked as if she had just come from doing a spot of knitting at the foot of the guillotine."

It went automatically to a heavy-weight mother with beetling eyebrows who looked as if she had just come from doing a spot of knitting at the foot of the guillotine.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice."

Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Stimulated by the juice, I believe, men have even been known to ride alligators."

Stimulated by the juice, I believe, men have even been known to ride alligators.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "When a girl uses six derogatory adjectives in her attempt to paint the portrait of the loved one, it means something. One may indicate a merely temporary tiff. Six is big stuff."

When a girl uses six derogatory adjectives in her attempt to paint the portrait of the loved one, it means something. One may indicate a merely temporary tiff. Six is big stuff.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them."

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "The true philosopher is a man who says "All right, " and goes to sleep in his armchair."

The true philosopher is a man who says "All right, " and goes to sleep in his armchair.



P.G. Wodehouse Quotes: "What ho!" I said."What ho!" said Motty."What ho! What ho!""What ho! What ho! What ho!"After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation."

What ho!" I said."What ho!" said Motty."What ho! What ho!""What ho! What ho! What ho!"After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.