My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Christ Jesus is full of compassion.

He that would be a painter must have a natural turn thereto. Love and delight therein are better of the Art of Painting than compulsion.

I'm a Pisces but I'd rather be a killa whale.

You can't suppress Bodily Functions

There's not a big gun culture in England at all still.

Madame....gloatingly savored her words as earlier she had savored her pig's trotter.

What was wonderful about childhood is that anything in it was a wonder. It was not merely a world full of miracles; it was a miraculous world.

The statistical probability that organic structures and the most precisely harmonized reactions that typify living organisms would be generated by accident, is zero.

Beauty opened all the doors; it got me things I didn't even know I wanted, and things I certainly didn't deserve.