If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Pride always puts [self] above others—and cuts [itself] off from them as a result. No one likes an arrogant, prideful person.

Comrade, you can deceive us. Anyone can―for a time. But not a very long time.

In every country where there is a vicious oppression, a peaceful and a continuous civil disobedience is the magical door opening to the freedom!

The thing that distinguishes America is that it is a republican form of government - anything that is not outlawed or specifically barred or regulated by the [Constitution] is LEGAL.

We measure success by accumulation. The measure is false. The true measure is appreciation. He who loves most has most.

To live a life half dead, a living death.

We need to do more than just what is right. We need to join together and right what is wrong.

The rich know not how hard it is to be of needful rest and needful food debarred.

Being a public servant, this is a serious job, not like a boxer, you're entertaining people.

I would sooner be prime minister of the moon than run another marathon. I've been really lucky. I didn't have any toenails fall off or anything disgusting like that. I still have all three nipples.