I've got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you're 71 years old. People just think I'm a silly old fool.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.

If you want to drink, have a drink... if you want to drive, then drive... there's nothing worse than having a smash sober.

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat - because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.

I once got sacked for laughing ... mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.

Uncyclopedia isn't funny anymore.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a a note on it saying, toys not included.

God arranges everything for us, so that we need have no more fear or trouble and may be quite sure that all things will come right in the end.

When I was a child, I never imagined one day would come when humanity would fall.

I believe most people are small dreamers because they dream about great things, however, they think those great things are going to come to them when they wait

My mom told me to do whatever I wanted to do and don't get too anxious about it.

if i could be assured of your destruction, i would in the interest of the public, cheerfully accept my death.

When a husband's story is believed, he begins to suspect his wife.

Through the lack of attaching myself to words, my thoughts remain nebulous most of the time. They sketch vague, pleasant shapes and then are swallowed up; I forget them almost immediately.

But that's the problem with love - it acts on you, works through you, resists your attempts to control.

I basically try not to waste any lines in any of my songs, and I think the witty phrases and funny lyrics I have bring a smarter sound to college hip-hop.

Everyday begins like a blank chalkboard, on which each one of us can write the poem of our present and our dreams for the future.