I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit.

Ed?" Ritchie says later. We're still standing in the water. "There's only one thing I want.""What's that, Ritchie?"His answer is simple."To want.

His lips are soft and crushing at the same time. I’m not sure what to do—is there an algorithm for kissing?

I mix them with my brains sir.

Being a warrior and being a struggler has been forced on me by oppression, otherwise I would have been free to be so much more.

Is it a stale remark to say that I have constantly found the interest excited at a playhouse to bear an exact inverse proportion to the price paid for admission?

Most of the time spent wrestling with technologies that don't quite work yet is just not worth it for end users, however much fun it is for nerds.

Make a plan to change the world. For one night, don't disbelieve that you can.

I challenge the challenges. I like to face the problems. I don't run away from them. Whatever loss I have to face it, I face it.

Americans are also feeling the effects of soaring energy prices at the gas pump. The double burden of these added expenses will be far too much for many families.