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Zaphod felt he was teetering on the edge of madness and wondered if he shouldn't just jump over and have done with it.
Working out the social politics of who you can trust and why is, quite literally, what a very large part of our brain has evolved to do.
He wondered if it was safe to grin. Very slowly and carefully, he grinned. It was safe.
People who need to bully you are the easiest to push around.
After five seconds there was a click, and the entire Universe was there in the box with him.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.
Rather than arriving five hours late and flustered, it would be better all around if he were to arrive five hours and a few extra minutes late, but triumphantly in command.
Life, ” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it.
Arthur blinked at the screens and felt he was missing something important. Suddenly he realized what it was."Is there any tea on this spaceship?" he asked.
We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!
The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off.
This must be Thursday, ' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
We have a saying up here. ‘Life is wasted on the living.
He would insult the Universe. That is, he would insult everybody in it. Individually, personally, one by one, and (this was the thing he really decided to grit his teeth over) in alphabetical order.
This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays
Zaphod did not want to tangle with them and, deciding that just as discretion is the better part of valor, so was cowardice is the better part of discretion, he valiantly hid himself in a closet.
He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
The main reception foyer was almost empty but Ford nevertheless weaved his way through it.
Ford Prefect suppressed a little giggle of evil satisfaction, realized that he had no reason to suppress it, and laughed out loud, a wicked laugh.
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Zaphod had never heard of this. He believed that he had heard of all the fun things in the Galaxy, so he assumed that the Total Perspective Vortex was not fun.
This is flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans today do not include Los Angeles, now would be the perfect time to disembark.
Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
What's up?" [asked Ford.]"I don't know, " said Marvin, "I've never been there.
Trillian did a little research in the ship's copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It had some advice to offer on drunkenness. "Go to it, " it said, "and good luck.
And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before--and thus was the Empire forged.
Why should I want to make anything up? Life's bad enough as it is without wanting to invent any more of it.
The best conversation I had was over forty million years ago, ' continued Marvin.Again the pause. 'Oh d—''And that was with a coffee machine.' He waited.
Perhaps they are singing songs to you, ' he said, 'and I just think they’re asking me questions.' He paused again. Sometimes he would pause for days, just to see what it was like.
Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?
When I was young I used to have this nightmare about dying. I used to lie awake at night screaming. All my schoolfriends went to heaven or hell, and I was sent to Southend.
But what about the End of the Universe? We'll miss the big moment."I've seen it. It's rubbish, " said Zaphod, "nothing but a gnab gib."A what?"Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let's get zappy.
A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose.
But now he felt as if the whole world were tipping backwards over his head, and this, he couldn’t help feeling, was a very worrying thing for the world to do.
Aberystwyth (n.)A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks.
One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious.
The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.
It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport.
A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.
There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind.
Time is bunk.
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.