I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.

Say what you want about the deaf.

The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

That was courage, Keller thought. Not doing something without being afraid, but doing something even though you were afraid.

This is a silly place. Half the world has no clean water. The other half has so much that they pooh in it.

God never denied that soul anything that went as far as heaven to ask it.

Marriage is no substitute for political experience.

Isolation is the dream killer.

In the aftermath of September 11th, it is critical to secure our borders.

My life is making movies. I like storytelling, and I've got a lot of stories that are stored up in my head that I hope to get out before my time is up.

Work motivates me. I love what I do and I'm a positive person, I've always liked what I've done as a job - however grim it was.

I have no companion but Love, no beginning, no end, no dawn. The Soul calls from within me: 'You, ignorant of the way of Love, set Me free.'

Come the three corners of the world in arms, and we shall shock them.