I love comedy. God has given me this platform.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

I never believed I will be the Breadwinner in my family, But I give Lord God Almighty Thanks!

Horror is a situation, not a character, no matter how evil one may be.

I could never hate you as much as I love you.

I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.

Your heart is greater than your wounds.

Would you believe in what you believe in if you were the only one who believed it?

True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.

Necessity is the mistress and guide of nature.

If Russia shuts off central Asia and the Caspian Sea from Europe, the European allies of the United States will be totally dependent on Russian gas and energy.

Most of God's people are contented to be saved from the hell that is without; they are not so anxious to be saved from the hell that is within.