I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

Knowledge makes you strong, understanding makes you formidable, wisdom makes you powerful, and love makes you invincible.

I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet simple things of life which are the real ones after all.

I think I'm close to lot of people in Bollywood, but I believe in evil eye, and I feel when I talk about friendships and relationships in public something somewhere goes wrong with it.

I really have a love for comedy. I can't express it enough.

He said, You're so tiny, like a doll, you look like you might break. I wanted him to break me. Part of me did.

Kids are much more intuitive these days. Not that I'm crazy about what's on TV, but they know so much these days.

If one has not read the newspapers for some months and then reads them all together, one sees, as one never saw before, how much time is wasted with this kind of literature.

Fashion is nothing more than the temporary custom of rich and idle people who make it their principal business to study the external elegance of life.

Experience shows us Wealth unchaperoned by Virtue is never an innocuous neighbor.

One of the things I did early on in film was over-enunciate and talk too loud.