Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Blessed are the ones who offer coffee to writers, for they will get all the rewards mentioned in the Bible, the Quran, the Vedas, the Upanishads and the Bhagavad Gita.

My parents would not permit ugly language in the house, which was okay with me. I didn't want to learn German anyway.

Every song deserves lyrics. Deserves a story to tell.

There’s an alternate view. That no man or woman alive is the disempowered victim of another’s degrading circumstance. Each is equipped to pursue their own fate. No one needs saving.

Teamwork requires some sacrifice up front people who work as a team have to put the collective needs of the group ahead of their individual interests.

The essential thing is to run period! And to do it for a long time and consistently and then everything will take care of itself.

Should such an ignorant people lead the world? How did it come to this in the first place? 82 percent of us don't even have a passport! Just a handful can speak a language other than English.

Iraq is a better place, absolutely worth it.

What was broken will never be the same again.

Most people quit. If you don't quit, if you rewrite, if you keep publishing in fancier places, you will understand that "What's the secret?" is not the question, which is, "Are you having fun?"